"It's not about the movies"

"Austin Powers in Goldmember" (2002), directed by Jay Roach (really?)

I’m sorry to say that I haven’t seen any of the previous entries in the Austin Powers series.  Even though they were denied the benefit of my $5.00 contribution (matinee price), there is no denying their continuing popularity and the monumental box office receipts.  The return on the production investment is unquestionably one of the best profit/loss ratios in the business.  This, of course does not even include the money generated by clever marketing tie-ins.  I realized this the other day while I was sitting in a Taco Bell watching a mobile with the pictures of Dr Evil and Mini-me spin in the artificial breeze. 

  Of course, fast food marketing is a multi-billion dollar business in this country.  Each chain attempts to create the most ideal image in the public’s mind to stimulate them to visit their “restaurants” when they think of ordering fast food.  McDonald’s led the way years ago with its touchy/feelie commercials telling consumers that McDonald’s is more than just a place to get burgers and fries, it’s also part of their extended family.  They then proceeded to establish their own pseudo country, McDonaldland. Mini-dramas were broadcast with the portrayal of the triumph of good over evil as their messages.  These little morality plays bred comfort in the viewing audience.  McDonaldland was seen as a safe (although somewhat frenetic) place to live.  The Hamburglar was always caught and brought to justice allowing the kingdom to continue to live in a manufactured peace overseen by the kindly substitute father image, Mayor McCheese.  His sole purpose was to govern his kingdom with a benevolent hand and keep his world safe for consumption.

  When the other fast food chains saw the phenomenal success McDonald’s had with its fictional characters they all jumped on the bandwagon.  Wendy’s had it’s “Where’s the Beef” lady, Clara Peller.  Taco Bell had its chihuahua and Burger King had, well, it’s Burger King (does anyone remember “Herb” the guy who never had a Burger King burger?  It’s just as well, that memory needs to remain at rest). 

  By far, the most curious “mascot” has, without a doubt, been Jack in the Box’s “Jack”.  Here we have a full-grown man, normal in every way (one would assume) with the exception that he sports a monumentally sized Styrofoam head on his normal sized shoulders.  What’s more, we are asked to believe that he is able to run his multi-million dollar company, communicating inspiration and motivation to the employees throughout its vast corporate empire, while being limited to the use of only two or three facial expressions.  Fortunately for his workers, a smile seems to be his most common expression. What is even odder is that he is fond of encouraging people to impale miniature replicas of his noggin in an effigy-like fashion on the tips of their car antennas.

The chain continues to build Jack’s make believe world.  He has been seen variously as a manager of a football team, a producer of a show called “Cat Chat”, a motorcycle, hot rod-riding rebel and a rescuer of lost sheep. 

A recent curious development in his “life” has surfaced, however, and it needs to be addressed.  The “Fake Shake” commercial that is now running ad infinitum ends with an image of Jack, apparently sitting in his kitchen at home sipping a cup of coffee (actually, he is not sipping it, which would be difficult at best, he is merely holding it).  He makes the comment, “this show rules” referring to the home improvement type show we have all been watching that evidently has just given a vote of approval to the milk shakes sold at Jack in the Box.  What makes this so interesting is that sitting next to Jack is a young attractive woman.  My question is, “who is this person?”  Is it Jack’s wife?  If so, how has he been able to carry on any semblance of a normal family relationship?  Does she have a thing for Styrofoam?   I would imagine that miscommunication must be an almost constant source of stress in their relationship.

The Jack in the Box ad series has proven to be immensely popular, virtually assuring its continuation.

What other areas of Jack’s life will the marketing campaign explore?  Will they delve into his past when he broke into show business as “Jacko, The World’s Greatest Ventriloquist”?

What will the future hold for Jack?  Will he and his wife have children?  If so, will styrofoam prove to be the dominant gene and will their children all be born with heads like their father.  Will his wife survive the delivery?

As the campaign continues, every major event in Jack’s life will, most likely, be documented.  I can see it now, the camera focuses on 1 year old Jack jr. as he is tentatively taking his first steps.  Urging him on is his proud father, “Come on, baby.  You can do it.   You can do it.  Yeah, baby, yeah!”

  “Austin Powers in Goldmember” rating: 2 thumbs and a head