Ask Jess

"It's not about the movies"

If you would like to ask The Movie Lady a question and see it answered here please click on this link...

Dear Jess,

Would you consider the film “The Wizard of Oz” to be the most scariest movie ever. I’m in a life long debate with a good friend of mine that swears it’s the scariest movie made.

Cheers, Britt ~ Barnegat Bay, NJ

You’re asking a tough question, Britt. It is true that “The Wizard of Oz” is replete with scary images and themes: separation anxiety, seemingly all-powerful evil, apple throwing trees and flying monkeys that come in the night to whisk you away. All this is topped off with the hope-crippling scene where the wizard “rewards” those poor souls, who have just risked their lives, with dime-store trinkets instead of real-life solutions to their problems. Of course, this prepares young viewers to deal with the inevitable life-shattering disappointments of the real world, but at what cost, I ask you? The desolation and dark hopelessness left by their lost innocence?

As scary as all that is, the true "Master of Toddlers’ Nightmares" was, and (posthumously) still is, Mr. Walt Disney.

In the late 1930s and early 1940s he managed to drive young children to the brink of fear and anxiety and then capriciously push them over the cliff. Bambi sees her mother murdered right before her eyes. Dumbo is separated from his mother and runs into some nasty, politically incorrect crows. Pinocchio turns into a donkey and THEN he is swallowed by a whale! A whale for crying out loud, Britt!

“Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” a supposed “classic,” is filled with ghastly death images, poisoned apples and, worst of all, the false hope of a Prince Charming that will rescue you from death and fill your life with happiness for ever and ever. I believed that, Britt. I believed that for most of my life…with all of my heart! What an idiot I was! All those lost years waiting for the man of my dreams that would never come…the hopes and dreams of a little girl’s happiness crushed under the size 14 storm-trooper boots of “Uncle Walt.” Now, how is that for horror? Is that scary enough, Britt? Does that answer your question? Well? DOES IT?

Uh...I'm so sorry...what was your question again?

-Jess

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Dear Jess,

I enjoyed your review of Michael Clayton very much but I felt I
must take issue with one thing that you said, namely that George never works
with anyone as good looking or better looking than himself.
What about Brad Pitt who played his best friend in all 3 "Ocean" movies?
I do believe, although they are different types, that Brad Pitt is as good looking,
if not better looking, than George Clooney. What are your thoughts?

"Suze" ~ Plano, TX

Well, Suze, first of all, I’m not used to someone disagreeing with me. But that is neither here nor there. I know that I made the comment that Mr. Clooney, in all likelihood, has it written into his contract that he will not appear in a film with any man who is “prettier” than him. I came to this conclusion after exhaustive research and much guesswork and I still hold that it is true.

How, you ask, is it possible for him to share the screen with someone like Mr. Pitt, in that case? Well, my dear, it’s fairly simple. The key is in the phrase “share the screen.” In all three “Ocean” movies, Mr. Clooney did his work in front of a “green screen” and the image of Mr. Pitt was actually a CGI creation. Mr. Pitt does not actually exist. But the illusion that he does is accomplished through the use of hundreds of "doubles" created by a team of plastic surgeons and a vast conspiracy stretching around the globe, including everyone from Angelina Jolie to the ever-present army of paparazzi that track "his" every movement.

See, I told you it was simple.

-Jess

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Jess,

Do you think Oliver Stone will do a remake with all this new (JFK assassination) evidence
(that was released by the Dallas District Attorney)? Was "The Grassy Knoll Observer"
on point all those years ago? Is it true you are "up for the part" of the wife of the CIA agent
that vouched for the Oswald's' repatriation, and housed them in their Dallas home prior to the
assassination? Did you really have an affair with Jack Ruby in Chicago?

Starstruck ~ Santa Barbara, CA

Thank you for sending along that very interesting article, Starstruck. I was wondering where
my spec script for Universal had disappeared to! I was shopping around a film about Jack Ruby
and Lee Oswald and I had written a few sheets of dialog between them. I gave the stuff to,
then Dallas DA, Henry “Pookie” Wade for fact checking and I never saw it again.

To answer your questions, I had read for the part of Ruth Paine, Marina Oswald’s landlady,
but I was given the bum’s rush when I insisted on playing the part as an aging Mae West.

Jack and I were close but never that close. The guy reeked of garlic and salami.
I guess he figured that the first step to becoming a “made man” was to smell like one.

And after the humiliation I went through during my Mexican vacation with Oliver Stone and
Anthony Quinn, I could give a stale poop about what Stone does with anything.

-Jess

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Dear Movie Lady,

How old are you anyway?

Eva T. ~ Danbury, CT

The Movie Lady is as old as the hills, Eva, and as young as springtime. She is eternal.

"She'll be all around in the dark. She'll be ever'-where - wherever you can look.
Wherever there's a fight so hungry people can eat, she'll be there. Wherever there's
a cop beatin' up a guy, she'll be there. She'll be in the way guys yell when they're mad -
She'll be in the way kids laugh when they're hungry an' they know supper's ready.
An' when the people are eatin' the stuff they raise, and livin' in the houses they build
- she'll be there, too."

-Jess

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Dear Jess,

Wow... This site reminds me of freshly cooked bagels with cream cheese.
The cream cheese has been left out to warm up to room temperature but not
so much to get any food borne illness. Also, served up with a small side of
rasher bacon which has been sliced thick enough, but not too thick and
cooked well, but not so much that it is too crispy.

Can't wait for the freshly squeezed orange juice!

Jeff L. ~ Punxsutawney, PA

Why, Jeff, you old son of a sausage biscuit. It's good to hear from you again. I'll never forget
our wonderful conversations around the old MGM food service table. You still know how to
sweet talk a gal on a diet!

-Jess

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Hi Movie Lady.

I'm one of your oldest fans and still you can surprise me.
I just saw a movie with Jimmy Cagney who frequently used the line, Wadda'
ya know, wadda' ya say? in the movie. I'm just wondering if he got that
line from you? Did you know Cagney? Did you have that much influence back
then? Oh how I envy you your life in the Golden Era, Movie Lady!
Please keep up the good work!

Sue S. ~ Prince George, British Columbia

Thanks so much, honey. It's good to know that there are still some old fogies out there like us that
remember what the real Hollywood was like.
As for your question, that line was all Cagney. Nobody influenced him, and I mean nobody!
There is one thing that I never told anyone, though. Everyone knows the signature "Cagney Shrug,"
right? Well, that was the byproduct of a practical joke I played on him during the shooting of
"Public Enemy." One day, just for laughs, I slipped some itching powder down his shirt.
As it turned out, he liked the way it looked on screen and the rest is, of course, history.

-Jess